Couples Therapy / Partnership Therapy

As an LGBTQIA+ affirming, ENM/poly-friendly therapist, I work with all types of relationship structures, and couples and partnerships who are coming to therapy for a wide range of reasons. Whether you are dating or married, monogamous or poly, a couple or a throuple, kinky or vanilla, newly starting your relationship or together for decades - if you want to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship and each other, learn how to work through the issues where you’re feeling stuck, and strengthen your bond together so your relationship can thrive, then I welcome you!

Common issues I help couples and partnerships with:

Conflict & Communication

Maybe you are struggling with anxiety or insecurity in your relationship, and want to understand your attachment styles and how you can support your partner(s) to build more secure attachment in your relationship. Maybe you’re stuck in patterns of arguing and conflict - you love each other, but you keep getting caught in the same frustrating cycles. You’re ready to do the work to better understand where you are each coming from, be able to express your needs in more effective ways, and learn new ways to communicate and support each other in strengthening your partnership.

Changes & Transitions

Even the strongest relationships have to adjust to changes and new chapters, and that adjustment can sometimes be tricky and deserve extra support! A recent move or job change can be something you and your partner(s) are excited about, but can also impact your routines and relationship dynamics in unexpected ways. Making decisions about commitment, marriage, parenting, or other life events can unearth concerns you’ve never had to talk through before. A partner questioning or exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity, or coming out as queer or trans, can bring up a lot of questions about what this means for your relationship together and how you envision your future now. And grief & loss of any kind can rock your relationship in ways you never would have anticipated - you want to be there for each other, and you’re ready to do whatever it takes to weather this. 

Relationship Structure

Your partner just told you that they want to open up the relationship - now what do you do? If you are considering opening up your relationship, but not sure how to go about it, or finding yourselves in conflict when you try to talk about it together, then working with an ENM/poly-friendly therapist can help you gain clarity and build a strong foundation of communication for exploring ethical non-monogamy. If you’ve been swingers or ENM for years and now you’re transitioning to a more polyamorous relationship structure, that can also be a big adjustment! Or maybe you’ve been happily poly for years, but things have shifted and changed in your life, or a new partner has joined you, and you’re realizing it’s time to revisit and clarify your relationship boundaries and values. There is no rulebook for ENM/poly folks to follow (although I know many of you ask for one!), but I will support you in figuring out what works best for you and your partners(s). 

Emotional Intimacy & Betrayal

Maybe your relationship started out strong, but over the years it might feel like you’ve drifted apart and daily life “stuff” has left little or no room for the romance and intimacy you once had - and you miss it. You want to learn how to reconnect and make your relationship even stronger. Or maybe one or more partners has had an affair, and it’s turned your relationship and world upside down. You’re trying to see if you can work through it and rebuild trust and intimacy again, but you don’t even know where to begin. Therapy can help you and your partner(s) understand yourselves, each other, and your emotions better so that you can begin to heal and rebuild your relationship into something new and stronger.

Sexual Issues

It’s a foundational part of most relationships - but sex can still be difficult to talk about! Many of us grow up in societies, cultures, or religions that taught us to feel shame about our sexuality, so we never learned the communication skills we need to talk about it with our partners. Maybe you’re struggling with a difference in libido (one partner wants sex much more than the other) or a decline in the frequency of sex in your relationship. Maybe one of you is more kinky or into different sexual interests than the other, and you’re trying to figure out how to navigate this. You’re coming to therapy because you’re ready to feel more confident talking about your desires, ready to embrace your authentic sexual self, and ready to experience more joy in your sexual relationship(s)!

In my work with couples and partnerships, I use a relational and attachment-based approach to help partners work through issues and strengthen their bonds and communication. I primarily work from a therapeutic perspective informed by EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), but also use elements of Gottman Method Couples Therapy, and draw from additional training and education specific to LGBTQIA+, BDSM & kink, neurodivergent, and poly/ENM relationships. I believe that alternative relationship structures and partnerships that are outside of societal norms are not only valid, but are creative, affirming, and healthy!

Ready to get started?

Contact me to schedule a free consultation

I offer in-person therapy for residents of Los Angeles in the South Bay including Torrance, Palos Verdes, Rolling Hills, Lomita, Redondo Beach, Hermosa Beach, Manhattan Beach, El Segundo, Hawthorne, Lawndale, and Gardena; and online therapy via telehealth throughout the state of California.